


Letters From a Lover Lost

by mirospherespeckles



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Brobecks
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - Bars, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst, Bisexual Patrick Stump, Cuddling, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minimal German, Period Typical Homophobia, Some Political Incorrectness, Trans Girl Pete Wentz, letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 03:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11455497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirospherespeckles/pseuds/mirospherespeckles
Summary: P.S.Patrick Stump, you deserved better than stolen kisses at the back of an old, smelly bar, and nightly affairs. You are wunderbar, more than any man I have ever met. You are perfect just the way you are.  You have never taken me as a granted object, and this is why I keep wearing that ring you gave me.  Ich liebe dich. Auf wiedersehen, meine liebe.orPatrick Stump and Pete Wentz meet at an underground gay bar in the early 1940s and begin a close relationship.





	1. Letter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in a while, and it's a World War II letter writing AU. I hope you people like it!

Dear Peter,

Do you remember the first day we met? It was at Mr Weekes' pub. There was a bar fight between Mr Hurley, and the younger Way brother. One said something about how it would be a rather horrendous idea for the other to drive his automobile intoxicated. It truly would have been a travesty; the average gentleman can barely walk with a proper lager in his system.

Between the two parties, a man much shorter than either party stood legs apart, lips in a firm line, and arms outstretched. You could not've thought that was a good idea, but you, being as zany as you are, thought it was a good idea. I don't know how Dallon did not notice sooner. They were causing such a ruckus in there. You could hear those shouts from the restroom. If he had not stepped in the second he did, you would have been squished.

Then my bed would be cold in the morning, and there would never be a cup of tea on the table, or those little scribbles on paper you wrote in your notepad for me to see when I woke up after you left in the morning would never exist. My life would still be as boring as ever if you were not in it. You deserve better than the hatred of loved ones and glares on the street. If we had been born in a different time, perhaps, things could be better for us.  I hope you do not mind me writing to you.

Sincerely,  
Patrick Stump

_P.S. Truly, we both deserve better than that hatred, but you deserve it less, for I have never met a better person than you. The intimacy from a true gentleman such as yourself is much appreciated._


	2. Brief Einer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete's first letter in response to Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this part. Comment what you think!  
> Translations are as follows:  
> Du bist ein sehr verwirrender Mann, aber trotzdem ein fantastischer Liebhaber: you are a very confusing man, but a great lover  
> Ein Fisch auf dem Trockenen: a fish on the dry, or a fish out of water

Lieber Patrick,

Yes, I remember that night. I never saw you in there. You would have blended in with many of the people in there based on appearance alone. I was ein Fisch auf dem Trockenen. If you consider our personal interests—the best way to refer to this affair—we are probably both fish on the dry, if put nicely. There are plenty more crude and less delicate ways to put it, and it seems the führer knows grand amounts.   
If my English is questionable, I apologize greatly. They did not want us learning it; what little you understand of mine may be difficult to decipher. In that one night, you erased much of what I knew of myself, but painted a much better picture in its stead. Neither of us are the best artists, admittedly, but with time we will become better. We will recreate ourselves in the others' image. Whoever you paint me as, I will most certainly love it. You see me as human, as a man. You do not see me as a criminal or any kind of heathen. That is why I love being around you.

Yours truly,  
Peter Wentz

P.S.   
No, I do not mind this at all. I quite like your writing. We can understand each other better this way.

P.P.S.   
You told me you wanted to be a composer, "like Beethoven," you said to me. If it was a dream of yours, why didn't you go through with it, little dreamer boy? Next time we meet, explain that to me. Sie sind eine sehr verwirrende Mann, sondern ein fantastische Liebhaber trotzdem.


	3. Letter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a bit of backstory on Patrick's family life.

Dear Peter,

I know I explained this to you the day before writing this, but the explanation was not the best. Hopefully the one in this letter is better. While my family was not the most supportive sort, we had money. If I had failed, I could've fallen back on them, but one needs his independence after all. It's why you never saw me at the bar; I was playing the organ in the back corner. You were at the front, squeezed between a shoe salesman, a fellow musician, and a bar. You may not have seen me. However, you could not've stood out more. 

You may call me minuscule, but it's not like you are gargantuan yourself, good sir. Your hair is quite dark, which may be a sign of uncleanliness in the eyes of some, but it reminds me of the chocolate delicacies that are rare and hard to come by in a time such as this. Some may not think humans can be rarities, but those few are foolish, my sweet, for you are much a rare breed of human. You are no brute, but you are no pansy either. You are strong and delicate all at once, and that is the best part of your being. It will be terribly hard to let you go once this ends. I hope it never does.

Sincerely,  
Patrick

P.S.   
Could you teach me some German someday? I'd love to hear you speak some. You sound most uncomfortable speaking the English tongue, and it's always a delight to learn more things, Peter.


	4. Schreiben Zwei

Lieber Patrick,

While I would be much delighted teaching you German, it would give away too much of what I am saying. Eine Dame nie Verschenkt ihre Geheimnisse, after all. If you knew what that truly meant, you would see me as a fool. 

Although you should probably know these details, it is too dangerous to place in these letters. The postal workers have been ordered to read all letters sent to them as a safety precaution. That would compromise the limited safety we both currently hold. The one promise that can be safely made is that you will be told eventually. 

On an unrelated note, my youngest sister has been asking for a new dress lately, and thought that since London is known for its excellent fashion, she asked if I—or anyone else who could help—would mind finding one. You seem to be quite the snappy dresser, so possibly you would be of service. Just a warning, she does have very peculiar tastes. Would you mind helping me with that task? I would not quite know what to get her. Sie verdienen Besseres als eine gebrochen ist. You should never doubt yourself, Patrick. Never doubt that you are in the right, with who we are. There is nothing more pure than love.

Mit besten Grüßen,  
Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Lieber: dear
> 
> Eine Dame nie Verschenkt ihre Geheimnisse: a woman has her secrets after all
> 
> Sie verdienen Besseres als eine gebrochen ist: you deserve better than one who is broken
> 
> Mit besten Grüßen: best regards


	5. Letter Three

Dear Peter,

This is the third draft of this letter, as it is very hard to write this in a way that did not make me seem like, what you would refer to as, an arschloch. You told me what, who, rather, you are in confidence. I did not take you seriously. You deserved better than that. 

Of course I will help find a dress, love. You want to feel pretty, so the right thing to do is help. It might take me a while to get used to referring to you differently, but I promise that I will try. Since you told me something sacred, I shall do the same. 

I do not understand how we keep fighting these wars. I do not understand how we all manage to keep faith in a god we aren't even sure exists. You figure He must be real, but I do not. It is great that you can believe in such a time of crisis, but I could never do that. As benign as that truth may seem to some, to others it is most horrific.

Love from,  
Patrick


	6. Schreiben Dwei

Lieber Patrick,

It was about time we found a place to put these letters where no one else could read them. It would be quite troublesome if they did, so that old tree is the perfect space to hold them. Let's hope the universe keeps them from finding these notations. 

The dress was quite lovely. I can say for sure I loved it. Too bad I can't wear it as often as I like. Society can barely handle two men in love, let alone one of them actually being a woman. I know it must have been rather jarring to hear it; while I am a little upset with your reaction, I understand why it happened. It's hard to take in.

If it makes you feel any better, Mr Trohman acted similarly when he found out. The man walked in to the restroom when I was applying makeup at the bar. Poor thing was stammering for minutes on end. Damn, he even thought it was a dream. Most of the bar did when they found out last week. Maybe I'm just that stunning. Thankfully, they tolerated me enough. No one called me anything at all. Dallon just gave me my regular drink and welcomed me to sit down. Sweet man, he is. It would be most terrible if anything happened to him. Of course, it would be terrible if you died as well, but if he died, we would have nowhere to drink at.

Liebe aus  
Peter

P.S.   
Speaking of Mr Trohman, have you seen him lately? He hasn't come by the bar in awhile, nor has he told me to come in to work lately. If anything happened to him, please let me know, and I will do the same. Bleiben Sie auf der sicheren Seite, und ich werde das gleiche tun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:   
> Bleiben Sie auf der sicheren Seite, und ich werde das gleiche tun: stay safe, and I will do the same.


	7. Letter Four

Dearest Peter,

I have not seen Mr Trohman anywhere lately, although considering how big London is, that is not the most surprising. The last time we spoke, I had not heard anything, although recently there have been rumours he went into hiding. 

The German army is coming around more lately, and it is unlikely for it to be safe for any of us much longer. Maybe it would be a good idea to go into hiding, or to run away to North America. I'm no coward, but things are getting more grave by the minute, and it's getting to the point where even I am terrified. 

Maybe you should be, too. You're a reasonable woman, you would understand. You have the stable lifestyle to prove it. Don't die on me. No one deserves to die for expressing who they are. Especially not someone as terrific as you. I'll be working at the bar every night for the next week. Come meet me there when you see this letter, alright? If you are free, of course. You are your own person.

Sincerely,  
Patrick

P.S.  
I hope Mr Trohman is safe, for both his sake and yours.


	8. Schreiben Vier

Lieber Patrick,

Apologies for not meeting you last week. I was called into work by one of the other employees at the store every night, which was when Mr Trohman was supposed to come in and do his evaluation. He never misses it, so it is safe to say he has disappeared for the time being. Skipped town, probably, hopefully. 

While I do not blame you for your choice in wanting to do the same, it would be rather foolish to do so at the moment, don't you think? It would not be safe at all. There are troops stationed nearby. They're on the lookout for runaways and deserters, so the chances we would be caught in an instant are high. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to run away, but I'm not going to risk my goddamn knickers to get somewhere even more dangerous than here. We would have nowhere to hide if a bomb went off. We wouldn't even know if one went off until it blew us to smithereens. You may be willing to run away, but I can't. Hopefully you aren't too angry with my choice to stay indefinitely.

Liebe aus,  
Peter

P.S.  
If the idea isn't too ridiculous, maybe you could call me Petra? It's a nice name, yes? I've been thinking of changing my name. Not legally, of course. Just between the two of us, if it isn't too much trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Liebe aus: love always


	9. Letter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Mädchen: girl

Dearest Petra,

It would be an honour to call you by your preferred name, even though it may not be for long. You see, I have set a day to leave town. If you decide to join me, it is the fourth of May. I'll wait for you for an hour in this spot under the tree. After that, if you do not join me, it is probable you will never see me again.

I would like to see you for one last rendezvous at my house. You said the last time we saw each other you would be available almost every evening this week. If you are able to see me, meet me at the bar, and I will escort you to my place of residence after my shift. That is, if you are comfortable walking at that hour with the police all about. I understand if you are not, and will try to be cordial about it. You are, of course, the best mädchen I have had the pleasure of knowing. One of the best people as well, save Mr Hurley. Without him, less of us would still be walking this earth.

Thank him, Petra, the next time you see him, that is.

Love from  
Patrick


	10. Buchstaben Fünf

Lieber Patrick,

Thank you for being okay with me just wanting to hold you last night. I wasn't really feeling up to doing anything more then. You wanted to do more, but you respected my comfort regardless. I should've told you that when I left, except you were still asleep, and you were so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you up, since you looked like you haven't been sleeping well lately. 

You were probably confused when you woke up, but there would've been German officers around doing inspections, and you know how the times are, dear. It would've put both of us in more danger, and I could never do that to you when you were planning to leave. You mean so much to me, and you getting hurt would probably mean the end for both of us. You deserve to find a new life, wherever that destination may be. I'm not going to hold you back, because I'm never going to leave, and I don't want you think "what could've been," and regret your choices. You deserve better than a girl like me, who doesn't want to be tied down. 

This isn't healthy for me or for you. You said you wanted to get married, and have kids, but we can't do any of that. Neither of us will get what we want in life if we stay in this relationship.

 _Danke_  
Petra

P.S.  
Ich liebe dich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ich liebe dich: I love you


	11. Letter Six

_Petra, I said to Mr Hurley to give this to you, only if I had been gravely injured or worse. If I have, I am sorry that you had to hear about it this way._

Dearest Petra,

I understand your actions for leaving without saying goodbye. I respect your choices in wanting to end things—in fact, I agree with your reasoning—and that you likely won't want to read this considering the last letter you sent to me, but I just had to say one last thing to you. Yes, I wanted marriage. Yes, I wanted children, and at some point, I may have left, even though it would never have been the right thing to do. 

However, you are a better match for me than any woman. You are stronger, so adventurous, and all the more fiery. You can beat me at a debate any time, saying facts that devastated any argument I may have brewed up. You led me on those hikes through the woods to find the tree, our tree, and even further. It was like heaven being with you. I don't think I've said this to you much before, but I love you very much. I'm not just saying this to make you cry. I mean it, and if I have died, I will continue to protect you, and be your guardian angel.

I may not even deserve to see you in whatever afterlife there may be, but know that someone will always look out for you here. If you ever run into trouble, Dallon said his door is always open, and Mr Hurley said the same. Even though I know you can support yourself, in case you ever need anyone for any reason, remember they are there. They're more honourable than anyone I have known in my adult life. 

Love from  
Patrick

P.S.  
This might not have stayed inside the envelope in the time it took to get to you, but at the bottom, a ring should be placed there. It's an engagement ring. You do not have to wear it, or even keep it, but I felt that I should give it to you. I wish I could have given it to you myself, but the stars are not in our favour in this lifetime.


	12. Schreiben Sechs

Lieber Patrick,

This morning, the sky is the bluest it's been in a while.  Maybe the universe is melancholy, and misses you as much as I do.  It is as blue as your eyes; the most beautiful shade of blue I have ever seen. Greatest apologies for the irony, but it's the truth my dear.  

I do not know how to say it any better, but I wish you were here now, Patrick, because you are great.  You haven't lived to see when our people started winning.  The allied forces have a chance.  This will probably never reach you, unless you came to haunt me in the afterlife or something of the like.  I wish you could see how things are going here in London.  It's amazing.  I truly do wish you were here, because my world has changed so much without you in it.  

I don't go to Dallon's bar anymore.  I tried to once or twice, but after you left it just got so hard.  Now I play guitar at another bar, since the shoe store obviously shut down without Mr Trohman being here to pay the rent.  They pay me well, but definitely not better than he did.  The songs are all about you, but it's not like they know that.  

I know I was the one who decided to end things, but I never got the chance to say goodbye for real.  I miss you, alles klar?

Sincerely,  
Your beloved Petra Wentz

P.S.   
Patrick Stump, you deserved better than stolen kisses at the back of an old, smelly bar, and nightly affairs. You are wunderbar, more than any man I have ever met. You are perfect just the way you are.  You have never taken me as a granted object, and this is why I keep wearing that ring you gave me.  Ich liebe dich. Auf wiedersehen, meine liebe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Alles klar: all right
> 
> Wunderbar: wonderful
> 
> Ich liebe dich: I love you
> 
> Auf weidersehen, meine liebe: goodbye, my love


	13. Epilogue

Lieber Patrick,

I know it's ridiculous that I'm still writing to you, even though you've been gone for a year know.  I still think about you a lot, meine liebe. There is only one thing I have left to say to you, and it breaks my heart that you'll never truly hear it. 

Ich liebe dich. Patrick Stump, I want you to understand what I am saying, even though you will never read this. I love you, and this is the last letter I will ever write you.  

I will hopefully see you soon in the afterlife.

Love,  
Petra Wentz


End file.
